Hello Hydration
by ohmyloki
Summary: Remember those Herbal Essences commercials? Yes, you know the ones. Anything is possible when you're a member of the Avengers. Or if you happen to be dating one.


**A/N: Prompt on tumblr: "Write a story where Loki has a Herbal Essences moment." So I fudged it a little bit. Loki does not make an actual appearance in this story, but his... magic is felt through out. Unbeta'd**

There were moans coming from the shower. Why was Steve moaning in the shower? Why was Steve moaning in the shower when she was sitting on his bed, clearly not in the shower with him? She had been hoping to surprise him by sneaking into his room, after getting back early from a trip to visit her parents, but he had been in the bathroom since she had arrived over twenty minutes ago.

She got up, padded across the lush carpet that was probably more Tony's doing than Steve's and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Steve?" She called out, cracking the door open as steam billowed out. How long had he been in there before she arrived?

"Darce? Get back early?" He responded. Darcy heard a weird note to his voice. Strangled. Overused.

"Yeah, wanted to surprise you. You okay in there?"

"Fine. I'm fine. Just… washing my hair."

Darcy laughed to herself. "That's not what it sounded like to me."

There was a beat of silence and another muffled moan before he responded. "Can you come in here for a sec? I want to show you something."

Her eyebrows went up but the chance to see Steve wet and naked was a chance she would be hard pressed to pass up on, even if it was happening more and more lately. She opened the door all the way and went it, stopping just outside the shower curtain. A hand snaked out and shoved the material aside before it grabbed at Darcy, pulling her under the spray of the showerhead, clothes and all.

Stumbling on the slick tile, Steve steadied her against his body. She smiled at the feeling and her slight annoyance at the wet clothes was forgotten as she pressed against a clearly excited super soldier.

"Well someone's certainly happy to see me. Were you being a naughty boy in the shower, Steve? Were you thinking of me?"

She looked up and saw Steve's head covered in suds of forgotten shampoo and a slight pink stain on his cheeks.

"That's not—I wasn't—just… here," he sputtered as he reached behind her and grabbed a bottle off the shelf. She giggled to herself. They had done some pretty depraved stuff and talking about touching himself still made him blush.

He poured some into his hands before sticking her head under the shower to wet her hair. Before she could respond with a dirty look, he rubbed the shampoo into her hair and her knees went weak. Goosebumps raced their way across her body, a spark of heat lit low in her belly. She gasped and then moaned.

"What the fuck?"

"I really don't know. And it's not just this bottle. I've… tried a few. Testing them." There was that blush again.

"For science, I'm sure," Darcy said, grinning at him.

Steve nodded. "They're all like that, so far."

"Did you get to the bottles in the hall closet?"

Steve shook his head.

"Well, what do you say you help me out of these wet clothes and I help you with your… experiments."

Steve's eyes flashed and Darcy loved that she was the only one who got to see this possessive, dirty side to America's sweetheart.

"For science, of course," he said seriously.

"For the good of the country, really," she replied.

They were too busy to say much else after that.

* * *

The next morning, the Avengers sans one Demigod and one genius were gathered around the kitchen table in various states of alertness. Darcy, clad in her pajamas, eyed everyone carefully as she took her spot next to Steve, who was busy avoiding eye contact as he shoveled what looked like a dozen scrambled eggs into his mouth. Now that she thought of it they were all looking suspiciously clean or, in some cases, still wet.

Before she had a chance to make some interesting inquiries, Thor walked into the kitchen and smiled brightly. He must have made a pit stop before the kitchen because Tony walked in shortly after, covered in grease stains, his unwashed hair sticking up oddly in places.

"My friends!" Thor greeted with his usual enthusiasm. Darcy, however, had known him long enough and lived in close quarters with him for far too much of that time and could spot his tells immediately.

"What's wrong, dude? Should we be expecting an attack?" She asked. Steve perked up at her side and set his fork down. They watched as Thor deflated.

"Thor?" Steve asked.

"There is no cause for concern, Captain."

"Don't make me call Jane," Darcy threatened.

Thor's eyes went wide for a moment before he sighed. "There is no cause for concern now."

"But there was?" Natasha asked.

"I spoke with my brother yesterday," Thor finally admitted and the resulting tension in the kitchen could be cut with a knife.

"What did he do?" Steve asked.

"Wait, does this have anything to do with the shampoo?" Darcy asked before Thor could respond.

"So it wasn't just me," Bruce added softly from the end of the table making Clint bark out a startled laugh. Thor nodded.

"Wait, what about the shampoo?" Tony asked, clutching a cup of coffee at the kitchen counter.

"You haven't showered recently, have you?" Darcy asked him, eyeing the obvious stains on his body and the stubble on his face. He shook his head.

"Let's just say… it's an intense experience," she said sneaking a glance at Steve who was now a pleasant shade of pink. Tony noticed this, genius he was, and was suddenly rapt with attention. He narrowed his eyes at Steve and then glanced around the table. Darcy turned back to Thor. "So why would Loki do… uh, that to I'm assuming all the shampoo in the tower?"

Thor rolled his eyes and Darcy thought he had been spending far too much time with her and Jane if he had picked up on that habit. It was a weird thing to see the Prince of Asgard do and she knew he hadn't started until after his first sojourn to Earth.

"There is a… commercial," he said the word tentatively and Darcy nodded. He continued. "There is a commercial that displays humans having intense reactions to these cleansing items. When he found out that the commercials were mere folly, he sought to rectify that situation and cast a spell. Fortunately it was quarantined to the tower alone."

Darcy laughed loudly and found herself being scrutinized from every corner of the kitchen. "I'm sorry but… Loki was upset that shampoo doesn't actually give you an orgasm, so he 'fixed' it? Where is he even seeing those commercials? They haven't been aired in ages!"

Thor shrugged. "I did not think to ask, I'm unsure if I wish to know."

Darcy fell back in a fit of giggles, still a little slaphappy from the lack of sleep the night before. She'd have to thank Tony for the never-ending supply of hot water later.

Steve cleared his throat, drawing attention back to the matter at hand. "You said there's nothing to worry about. Did he lift the spell?"

Thor shook his head. "No, he has not. But I have consulted our friend Stephen and he informed me that it will fade on it's own."

"How long?" Steve asked.

"A day. Two, at most."

"Alright, well," Tony set down his mug and clapped his hands together. "This has been great, really, but I've got… work to do in the shop. See you children later," he said before walking out of the kitchen and down the hall towards the elevator. No one commented on the fact that he seemed to be heading up, towards his penthouse, rather than down to the workshop.

"Right. I've actually got some experiments in the lab I need to check in on," Bruce said as he stood up and quietly made his way out.

Natasha and Clint merely exchanged a look, stood up, and left, abandoning their dishes on the table. Thor watched as they went, a knowing smile on his face. Darcy felt Steve shift around next to her and she placed a hand on his thigh, causing him to jump at the contact.

"Right, well, thanks for telling us, Thor," Darcy said and slid her hand up higher on Steve's leg. "And now I need to go get dressed and ready for the day." She gave a firm squeeze and felt Steve's reaction before she stood up, pat Thor on the arm and made her way down the hall with the intent to head back up to Steve's room.

She heard Thor mumble something to Steve, his squeaky response, and then the sound of a chair scraping across the tile floor. She didn't even make it all the way down the hall before feeling the warmth of Steve's body behind her.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asked as she turned around and he crowded her into a wall.

"I think we've got some experiments of our own to complete," she said sagely.

A wicked grin spread slowly across his face before he leaned down and captured her lips with his.

Needless to say, no one saw much of anyone else over the next couple of days.

Accounting may have inquired about the unusually high water usage but Pepper, who arrived home from a long business trip a few hours after Thor's announcement at breakfast, told them there was nothing to worry about. It (sadly) wouldn't happen again.


End file.
